How Dr. Abiola Salami’s Coaching Empowered Angela To Overcome The Fear of Public Speaking
When I met Angela in 2018, she looked every bit the high-achieving executive on the rise. Immaculate in her crisp white blouse, perfectly measured tone of voice, with a resume boasting over a decade of wins in strategic operations at a FMCG company. But behind her polished appearance was a story of deep discomfort, hidden beneath layers of coping mechanisms that had helped her survive—but not thrive.
We were meeting in my coaching studio—a serene space in the heart of Ikoyi. The scent of cedarwood lingered in the air, and the soft hum of ambient music offered a gentle backdrop. Angela walked in, smiled, and sat down. But the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I’m terrified,” she said flatly, after our initial pleasantries. “I can lead meetings, manage teams, even negotiate with vendors across the world. But ask me to speak in front of a crowd—especially with a mic in my hand—and something shuts down.”
She paused. I could see her eyes begin to shimmer, as if the very act of naming the fear made it real again.
“I got asked to give a keynote at our global leadership summit,” she said. “My boss thinks it’s a big opportunity. But I’m seriously thinking about turning it down.”
That’s when I knew this wasn’t just about public speaking. It was about identity. Visibility. Power. And the internal permission to take up space—not just in the room, but in the world.
Over the next few sessions, we unpacked Angela’s relationship with visibility. What I discovered was a deeply ingrained fear, rooted not in lack of ability, but in old stories—narratives built on moments of shame and silence.
Her fear didn’t start in the boardroom. It started in the classroom.
In JSS 1, she had to recite a poem in front of her class. She forgot the lines halfway through. Her teacher, impatient and dismissive, had said, “Sit down if you’re not prepared.” The class had laughed. She remembered the sound of it in her bones. That was the moment her nervous system learned: speaking up leads to pain. Visibility invites ridicule.
Now, twenty years later, her body still remembered. Each time she was asked to speak publicly, her breath would shallow. Her hands would sweat. Her voice would tremble. Her brain would go blank. And above all, a voice in her head whispered: “Don’t mess this up again.”
This was not a skill issue. It was a trauma loop.
Helping Angela required more than presentation tips. She needed a safe space to rewire her relationship with speaking—and with herself. Here’s the step-by-step methodology I used to guide her transformation:
Step 1: Normalize the Fear
First, I validated the fear. I told her something I tell many of my clients:
“Public speaking is not just about delivering information—it’s about being seen. And for many of us, being seen hasn’t always been safe.”
Angela wept when I said that. It unlocked something. For the first time, she saw her fear not as a flaw, but as a response. That shift—from shame to understanding—was our first win.
Step 2: Identify the Inner Narrator
I guided Angela through a journaling exercise:
“What does the voice in your head say when you imagine speaking on stage?”
She wrote:
• “You’re going to embarrass yourself.”
• “They’re going to see you don’t belong.”
• “You’ll freeze, and it’ll be a disaster.”
I call this voice The Inner Narrator—a subconscious script shaped by past experiences. Our work was to challenge, question, and rewrite it.
We spent time re-authoring her internal script, changing “I will embarrass myself” to “I will breathe, I will connect, and I will grow.” Repetition, visualization, and vocal affirmation helped her embody the new message.
Step 3: Reconnect with the Body
Angela’s fear lived in her body, not just her mind. So we incorporated somatic coaching into our sessions:
- Breathwork: We practiced box breathing to regulate her nervous system.
- Grounding exercises: Standing barefoot, feeling her weight supported by the ground.
- Voice release: Simple vocal warmups to reconnect her with the power of her own sound.
One powerful moment came when I asked her to repeat her keynote’s opening line while pressing her feet into the floor and expanding her arms wide. For the first time, her voice didn’t quiver. It filled the room.
Step 4: Controlled Exposure
Rather than jumping straight to the stage, we created a ladder of low-stakes visibility:
- Practice speaking in front of a mirror.
- Record a video of herself delivering a message—and watch it with compassion.
- Present a short message to me in session.
- Practice in front of a trusted friend.
- Speak for 2 minutes at a team meeting.
Each step was a win. Each one rewrote the old story in her nervous system. Safety replaced shame. Confidence replaced dread.
Step 5: Own the Message
We reframed the keynote not as a performance, but as a gift.
I asked her:
“If this audience truly needed to hear one thing from you—heart to heart—what would it be?”
That changed everything. She crafted a story about her journey, the power of persistence, and how leaders grow through discomfort. She practiced telling it—not to impress—but to connect.
And that became her anchor.
She wasn’t speaking for approval. She was speaking for impact.
Angela stood backstage, holding the wireless microphone with trembling fingers.
It was a grand ballroom in Lagos, filled with nearly 600 leaders from across her company’s international branches. Floor-to-ceiling windows framed the city skyline behind a massive stage adorned with soft lights and a sleek LED screen. Her name was next on the schedule, flashing in bold capital letters on a program being clutched by every attendee in the room.
She looked at me from backstage with wide eyes.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Her voice was a whisper. Thin. Fragile.
I had seen this moment coming—and I was ready for it.
Every client I’ve ever coached through transformation has met this moment: the final surge of resistance right before the breakthrough. It is the body’s last attempt to protect itself from the unknown, from visibility, from vulnerability.
Angela’s fear wasn’t just about the stage. It was about being seen for real—for who she was, for her story, for her voice.
She was stepping into territory her nervous system had once learned was dangerous. But this time, she wasn’t alone. She had done the work. She had new tools. And most importantly—she had reclaimed her why.
I stepped beside her, gently placed my hand on her shoulder, and said:
“This fear is not a stop sign. It’s a signal that you’re doing something meaningful. This stage is not a threat. It’s an invitation. Step into it.”
She closed her eyes. Took a deep breath. One beat. Two.
Then I watched her straighten her spine, ground her feet, and exhale the fear out of her body.
A few weeks prior, we had created a pre-speaking ritual—her own custom set of steps to shift her state and center her message. This was her power practice:
1. Affirmations Spoken Aloud:
“My voice matters.”
“I am safe, I am ready, I am needed.”
2. Breathwork Sequence:
Four counts in. Hold for four. Four counts out. Repeat. Anchor.
3. Power Pose:
Standing tall, arms wide, chin up. Reclaiming space.
4. Visualization:
Seeing herself walk on stage. Hearing the applause. Feeling calm, connected, radiant.
5. Mantra:
“I’m not here to perform. I’m here to serve.”
That day, she did them all. And when her name was called, she walked onto that stage with the kind of grace that makes people pause—not because of flash or flair, but because of presence.
Angela opened her keynote with a pause. She stood still. Silent. Grounded. Her presence was magnetic.
Then she began:
“I’ve spent most of my career trying to be perfect. Polished. Professional. But behind the curtain, I was hiding a fear I never talked about—until now.”
There was a ripple in the room. You could feel the audience lean in.
She told the story of her fifth-grade classroom. The poem. The laughter. The silence that followed her for years.
Then she said:
“For a long time, I thought leadership meant hiding your fears. But I’ve learned that true leadership is learning how to walk through them—with intention, with courage, and with the right support.”
There was a shift. People started nodding. She wasn’t just giving a keynote. She was offering truth.
And here’s the part I’ll never forget:
She paused, looked up, and her voice rang out—clear, steady, and filled with conviction.
“I’m standing here not because I’m fearless, but because I decided to stop letting fear run the show. I found my voice—and I intend to use it.”
What Happened Next? When Angela finished, the room erupted in applause.
But it wasn’t just polite appreciation—it was thunderous. Standing ovation. Her colleagues, her boss, even executives who had barely spoken to her before—rose to their feet, clapping like they had just witnessed something sacred.
And they had.
Angela walked off stage with tears in her eyes. But they weren’t tears of anxiety. They were tears of arrival. Of finally becoming who she had always been underneath the fear.
She hugged me tightly and whispered, “I did it.”
I whispered back, “No—you became it.”
Here’s what I want you to understand:
Angela’s success wasn’t in the applause. It was in the internal rewiring that made it possible.
The fear didn’t magically disappear. It was integrated. Transformed into fuel. Angela learned to:
- Recognize fear as a signal, not a stop sign.
- Speak through vulnerability rather than around it.
- Reconnect with her story and use it as power, not shame.
- Regulate her body so her voice could carry her truth.
This is the essence of real transformation. It’s not about becoming someone else—it’s about reclaiming the parts of you that fear tried to bury.
Lessons for Every Leader
If you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt that lump in your throat before a meeting…
Or your hands trembled before you spoke up in a room full of peers…
Or you’ve said “no” to opportunities that scared you because you weren’t “ready”…
Let me say this clearly:
You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful. You just need to be present.
The fear of public speaking is not a flaw—it’s a doorway. Behind it lies your fullest voice, your boldest truth, and your greatest impact.
Angela didn’t become a different person that day.
She simply came home to herself—and decided to stay.
Are you ready to take your leadership to the next level? Contact us today on +2347026668008 or hello@abiolachamp.com
About Dr. Abiola Salami
Dr. Abiola Salami is the Convener of Dr Abiola Salami International Leadership Bootcamp ; The Peak PerformerTM Festival Made4More Accelerator Program and The New Year Kickoff Summit. He is the Principal Performance Strategist at CHAMP – a full scale professional services firm trusted by high performing business leaders for providing Executive Coaching, Workforce Development & Advisory Services to improve performance. You can reach his team on hello@abiolachamp.com and connect with him @abiolachamp on all social media platforms.
