By Dr. Abiola Salami
The Price of Power: How To Manage What They Didn’t Tell You About The Role An excerpt from the book T.I.T.L.E. – Taming the Invisible Toll of Leadership and Expectation by Dr. Abiola Salami
INTRODUCTION
The Price of Power: What They Didn’t Tell You When You Took the Role
By Dr. Abiola Salami
“Leadership gives you a title. But it quietly takes pieces of your humanity unless you learn how to reclaim them.”
Power is intoxicating. It glitters with applause, prestige, and influence. It seduces with corner offices, seven-figure packages, security convoys, and the ability to shape destinies with the flick of a pen. But buried beneath its shine lies a truth most leaders only discover when it’s too late: power extracts a price far greater than money.
A 2023 Deloitte survey of global executives revealed that 70% of senior leaders admit their stress levels are unsustainable, with nearly half reporting mental health challenges that remain unspoken at work. The World Health Organization estimates that workplace stress alone costs the global economy over $1 trillion annually in lost productivity.
You may know that already. Perhaps you wear the title—President, Governor, Senator, Honourable, Chairman, CEO, GMD, MD, Partner, Director, Director-General, C-Level Executive, Global Lead Pastor, Chief Imam—maybe more than one. You know the polished image you’re expected to present: decisive, commanding, inspiring. But when the lights dim and the crowd disperses, what remains?
Sleepless nights. Estranged family ties. A heart burdened with unspoken wounds.
The world reveres your decisions but ignores your doubts. Your victories are expected, but your failures make headlines. Your vulnerability is misread as weakness, so you bury it. And slowly, invisibly, your humanity erodes beneath the weight of your own title. This is the weight nobody warned you about.
This is the price of power. And too many leaders are paying with their health, their peace, and their wholeness.
Every title carries a hidden invoice. And it’s rarely paid in cash. When people talk about leadership, they parade the perks. The prestige. The spotlight. They don’t talk about the unspoken invoice of power.
Power rarely asks for payment in money. It collects its debt in other currencies:
- Sleepless Nights: Harvard Business Review found that 43% of executives report sleeping fewer than six hours a night.
- Decision Fatigue: Neuroscientists estimate that leaders make up to 35,000 decisions daily each one a withdrawal from mental clarity.
- Emotional Taxation: A Korn Ferry study shows that 66% of executives say their biggest challenge is managing the emotions of others while ignoring their own.
- Identity Blur: When the title consumes the name. Suddenly you’re not Kunle, Ngozi, or Musa. You’re only Governor, CEO, or Honourable.
- Isolation: Despite crowded rooms, McKinsey reports that nearly 68% of executives feel profoundly lonely in leadership.
And then there’s the grief no one prepares you for: missing your child’s graduation, attending a parent’s burial virtually, or realizing you no longer know what brings you joy outside the office.
I once coached a C-level Executive who said to me “Dr. Abiola Salami, everyone says I inspire them. But I can’t remember the last time I felt inspired myself.”
This C-level Executive was the youngest female executive at a Fortune 100 multinational. She is Nigerian-born, UK-educated, brilliant and well celebrated.
On paper, she was everything leadership promises. She managed billion-dollar portfolios, sat at the decision-making table with men twice her age, and represented her company on global panels.
But in private, she was drowning.
She battled imposter syndrome in boardrooms where her every word was dissected. She worked sixteen-hour days, carrying not just profit margins but the invisible weight of gender politics and accent bias. Weekends blurred into workdays. Her body revolted with migraines, ulcers, and exhaustion. Her relationships crumbled.
One Sunday morning, staring at her ceiling, she whispered:
“Is this what I sacrificed my 40s for?”
When she reached out for coaching, it wasn’t to accelerate her performance. It was to survive. Once she allowed herself to be human again, based on our work together, she didn’t shrink, she soared. She restructured her time, delegated boldly, rebuilt her health and rediscovered joy.
Her story is echoed in countless leaders across Africa and the globe: the high-achieving executive who looks unstoppable on the outside but is quietly unraveling on the inside.
There Are Three Hidden Costs of Leadership
1. Emotional Taxation
The mental load of always being “on.” You’re the rock for your team, the fixer for your board, the symbol for your nation. But rocks crack too.
The American Institute of Stress notes that 80% of executives report work as their primary stressor.
How to Tame It:
- Build emotional release rituals like journaling, prayer walks, meditation.
- Seek therapy or executive coaching in spaces where vulnerability is wisdom, not weakness.
- Create confidential peer circles where masks can come off.
2. Identity Blur
Your title swallows your name. Your sense of self reduces to metrics, votes, or quarterly performance.
A 2022 Gallup study shows that two-thirds of leaders admit they’ve lost touch with who they are outside of work.
How to Tame It:
- Revisit passions you don’t perform for applause.
- Invest in relationships that value you for who you are, not what you deliver.
- Separate “I am” from “I do.”
3. Decision Fatigue
Thousands of decisions corrode clarity. Even simple choices feel heavy.
Psychologist Roy Baumeister’s work confirms that decision fatigue leads to poorer judgment, risk aversion, and irritability.
How to Tame It:
- Delegate with boldness.
- Separate “only I can decide” from what others can own.
- Block out white space in your calendar for mental restoration.
The LEAD Framework
I reckon that power without recovery becomes poison but power with recovery becomes purpose. Here’s the framework I share with executives who want to carry power without collapsing under it:
- L – Leverage Silence Daily: 10 minutes of stillness resets your compass.
- E – Examine Your Self-Talk: Guard against the inner critic. Speak to yourself with kindness.
- A – Ask for Help: Greatness is not in carrying it all alone. Build a trusted circle.
- D – Design Recovery Into Leadership: Don’t wait until burnout forces rest. Bake recovery into your strategy.
Dear Leader, the costs you ignore today become breakdowns you can’t hide tomorrow.” So, this week, sit with one question:
“What price am I quietly paying for my title—and is it worth it?”
Journal it. Speak it aloud. Let it confront you. Because no level of influence is worth losing your peace, your health, or your soul.
CONCLUSION
Leadership will always cost something. The real question is: will it cost your wholeness or can you learn to lead without losing yourself?
You are not a machine. You are not your quarterly report. You are not your convoy, your office, or your applause. You are a human being first.
The best leaders don’t just build empires. They build endurance. They lead with peace, presence, and purpose.
That’s what I help leaders reclaim. Across Africa, Europe, the Americas, and beyond, I coach CEOs, Heads of Government Agencies, Political Leaders and Spiritual leaders not just to perform but to breathe again.
If today’s conversation stirred something in you, don’t keep carrying the toll alone. Coaching may be the wisest investment you ever make.
Remember, your title is not your worth. It’s just your current lane an I want you to lead well, live whole and rest deeply.
If you are ready to reclaim your humanity without losing your influence, reach out. Let’s build a version of success that doesn’t silently break you.
You don’t have to disappear to make room for others. You just need to evolve with intention and that’s what I help you do.
Email me directly at hello@abiolachamp.com or send a confidential message via WhatsApp +2348188881957 to begin your private Executive Relevance Session.
Your journey is not over. But your next level shouldn’t be walked alone. Let’s tame the invisible toll and turn it into unstoppable transformation.
Sources Referenced:
- Deloitte Global Human Capital Trends, 2023
- World Health Organization, Workplace Stress Report, 2022
- Harvard Business Review, “The Sleep-Deprived Executive,” 2021
- Korn Ferry Institute, Executive Stress Study, 2022
- McKinsey & Company, “Loneliness in Leadership,” 2021
- American Institute of Stress, Executive Burnout Survey, 2022
- Gallup, Workplace Wellbeing Report, 2022
- Roy Baumeister, “Decision Fatigue,” Psychological Science, 2011
About Dr. Abiola Salami
Dr. Abiola Salami is the Convener of Dr Abiola Salami International Leadership Bootcamp ; The Peak PerformerTM Festival Made4More Accelerator Program and The New Year Kickoff Summit. He is the Principal Performance Strategist at CHAMP – a full scale professional services firm trusted by high performing business leaders for providing Executive Coaching, Workforce Development & Advisory Services to improve performance. You can reach his team on hello@abiolachamp.com and connect with him @abiolachamp on all social media platforms.
