By Dr. Abiola Salami
Boardroom Betrayal: How To R.I.S.E. When Loyalty Ends at the Contract An excerpt from the book T.I.T.L.E. – Taming the Invisible Toll (Emotional Cost) of Leadership and Expectation by Dr. Abiola Salami
INTRODUCTION
“Betrayal never comes from your enemies. It comes from the hands you once held in trust.” – Dr. Abiola Salami
You gave everything. Your time. Your loyalty. Your ideas. Your weekends. Sometimes even your peace. But one decision. One reshuffle. One boardroom vote you weren’t invited to and suddenly, the air shifted.
The colleague you groomed lobbies for your seat. The ally you defended sits silent as your reputation is questioned. The loyalty you assumed was ironclad evaporates with the signing of a contract.
Welcome to the unspoken side of leadership: Boardroom Betrayal.
That knife you didn’t see coming doesn’t just cut your time; it cuts your trust. It may not bleed publicly, but it scars deeply. And every C-suite executive, senator, governor, or chairman reading this knows the sting: the knife rarely comes from strangers; it comes from the ones you believed had your back.
The question is not whether betrayal will visit you. The real question is: When it comes, how will you rise again without hardening into stone?
The Betrayal Nobody Names
In leadership, some betrayals scream but the most devastating betrayals only whisper.
- The email you were deliberately excluded from.
- The “informal” dinner where the decision was sealed without you.
- The boardroom vote where your strongest ally went silent.
And yet, when you try to name it, the world tells you:
“It’s just business.” Or “It’s just politics.”
“Don’t take it personally.”
“Be strategic.”
But what happens when it is personal? When the betrayal is not about politics but about dignity? About watching someone you mentored choose self-preservation over truth?
This is the betrayal executives carry in silence. Not because it doesn’t hurt but because admitting it feels like weakness.
But here’s the truth: denying betrayal doesn’t erase it. It only buries the wound deeper.
Lanre’s One-Line Resignation
Lanre was the COO of a fintech company. He built the operations model. Hired the first 30 staff. He drove the company from Series A to Series C. Internally, he was called “the backbone of the brand.”
One morning, Lanre didn’t hear it from the founder, the board, or HR. He read it on a blog: the company had quietly hired a new COO.
No prior warning or conversation. Just a headline on a blog.
When he confronted the founder, he heard the classic dismissal: “It’s nothing personal. Tough call. I hope you understand.”
Lanre smiled.
Then typed a one-line resignation letter.
And for two hours, he sat in silence, not grieving the position, but grieving an illusion. The illusion that loyalty guarantees reciprocity. The illusion that contribution protects you from erasure. The illusion that gratitude scales in the boardroom.
Lanre could have stayed bitter. He could have let betrayal harden him into cynicism. But instead, he made a different choice by reaching out for coaching.
In our sessions together, Lanre unpacked the wound no one in his inner circle had language for. We confronted the sting of displacement, the erosion of trust, and the quiet temptation to lead smaller. And then, we rebuilt.
He learned to set boundaries around loyalty. He designed rituals to protect his peace. He reframed betrayal not as a rejection of his worth, but as a revelation of others’ limitations. Slowly, he rediscovered his confidence.
Within a year, Lanre had co-founded a venture where every partner signed not just a shareholder’s agreement but a culture covenant a code of transparency, dignity, and accountability.
He went on to secure $25 million in investment funding, not just because he was brilliant, but because he led from a healed, whole, redefined centre.
And in one of our coaching sessions, Lanre said something unforgettable:
“Dr. Abiola Salami, I don’t regret my loyalty. I regret giving it without boundaries. Coaching gave me back the wisdom to lead with love without losing myself again.”
Lanre’s story is not an anomaly. It is the story of countless leaders I’ve worked with across Africa and beyond. These leaders came to coaching bleeding silently, but left leading boldly.
The Anatomy of Boardroom Betrayal
Betrayal at the top destabilizes more than your strategy. It shakes your soul. Let me show you the anatomy of boardroom betrayal. I call it the three faces of boardroom betrayal.
- Silent Sabotage – Decisions made without you. Whispers that dilute your influence before you even know a battle exists.
- Strategic Displacement – Restructuring used as camouflage to edge you out. The memo frames it as “evolution.” In reality, it’s eviction.
- Reputational Undermining – Your narrative rewritten. Your legacy diluted. Stories twisted until the boardroom questions what it once celebrated.
Here is what Betrayal Does to Leaders
- It Destabilizes Your Identity: When the mission you bled for rejects you, it feels like self-rejection.
- It Warps Your Trust: You start doubting everyone. Most especially, you start doubting yourself.
- It Shrinks Your leadership: You’re tempted to lead colder, safer, smaller.
A Harvard Business Review survey (2022) revealed that 58% of executives admit to experiencing betrayal from close colleagues. Among those, 72% said it affected their confidence in making future partnerships.
R.I.S.E. Through Betrayal
Betrayal at the top bruises your reputation, it shakes your identity, warps your trust, and tempts you to shrink. But pain doesn’t have to become poison. Betrayal doesn’t have to end your leadership; it can refine it. Because you can heal without hardening.
When betrayal comes, you don’t need to pretend or deny it didn’t hurt. You need a framework to process it with wisdom and emerge stronger.
I developed the R.I.S.E. Framework to enable leaders respond to betrayal without losing their souls.
R – Recognize the Wound Without Shame
Do not be hasty in demonstrating strength. Pause. Grieve. Name the betrayal for what it is. The wound may be silent, but it is real. Acknowledging it is not weakness, it is wisdom.
I – Identify What’s Worth Preserving
Confront the act, not the drama. Avoid gossip or retaliation. Instead, separate facts from emotions and ask: What principles, partnerships, and contributions must I protect? Guard your records, your narrative, and your legacy.
S – Set New Boundaries
Please nite that unaddressed betrayal becomes a cycle. Define where loyalty ends and self-preservation begins. Build boundaries that keep you open-hearted but not naïve. This is where you disentangle with dignity, refusing to give betrayal the power to rewrite your worth.
E – Elevate Your Response
Revenge is easy; integrity is harder. Don’t mirror the betrayal. Refuse to let bitterness become your leadership brand. Elevate your response by letting grace, not resentment, define your legacy. Your greatest protest is peace.
Lessons Worth Carrying
- Be loyal to principles, not just personalities.
- Build exit protocols that honor even those who failed you.
- Lead with clarity, not naivety. Keep your heart open, but your eyes sharp.
- Let betrayal sharpen your discernment, not fuel your resentment.
R.I.S.E. is not about denying betrayal; it’s about transforming it. It’s the roadmap that helps leaders pause without pretending, confront without collapsing, protect without paranoia, and rise without losing their soul. Because betrayal will come. But whether it breaks you or builds you depends on how you rise.
Here is A Reflection for Every Leader
This week, ask yourself:
“Where did I mistake professional rapport for personal loyalty?”
And even deeper:
“How will I protect my heart without closing it?”
Write it. Speak it aloud. Because bitterness is not a strategy; it is erosion.
Sometimes, betrayal is not a reflection of your worth but a revelation of their capacity. And their capacity was never enough to carry you.
Conclusion
Loyalty is noble but wisdom is necessary. Betrayal cuts deepest when trust was the currency. But the leaders who endure don’t just survive it, they redefine loyalty.
If you’ve been quietly carrying the residue of betrayal, let me tell you this: you don’t have to bleed alone. Coaching gives you a safe, trusted space to process, heal, and rebuild without shrinking into cynicism.
Because the world doesn’t need leaders who harden into stone. It needs leaders who transform pain into perspective and betrayal into breakthrough. The Betrayal You Survive Becomes the Wisdom You Teach
I’ve coached Presidents, CEOs, Senators, and global executives through betrayals that nearly broke them. What saved them wasn’t strategy alone. It was a trusted space to be human again.
If today’s article felt uncomfortably close, don’t keep carrying the toll silently. Reach out. Let’s build a leadership version of you that rises wiser, not colder.
Boardroom betrayal may end a chapter. But it never has to end your story.
About Dr. Abiola Salami
Dr. Abiola Salami is the Convener of Dr Abiola Salami International Leadership Bootcamp ; The Peak PerformerTM Festival Made4More Accelerator Program and The New Year Kickoff Summit. He is the Principal Performance Strategist at CHAMP – a full scale professional services firm trusted by high performing business leaders for providing Executive Coaching, Workforce Development & Advisory Services to improve performance. You can reach his team on hello@abiolachamp.com and connect with him @abiolachamp on all social media platforms.
For private coaching, boardroom recalibration, or executive healing strategy, connect email me directly at hello@abiolachamp.com to begin your private Executive Coaching Session.
