By Dr. Abiola Salami
Reclaim: How To Overcome Executive Anxiety and the Fear of Irrelevance At High Levels An excerpt from the book T.I.T.L.E. – Taming the Invisible Toll of Leadership and Expectation by Dr. Abiola Salami
INTRODUCTION:
The boardroom was still. The lights above reflected off the marble table as if mocking the silence that had fallen upon the once-venerated figure at the head. Mr. Adebayo – celebrated CEO, media darling and industry disruptor sat quietly. Only five years ago, he had been listed among Africa’s Top 10 Most Influential Business Leaders. His quotes were splashed across Forbes, his strategies dissected at conferences, and his image a fixture on industry panels. Today, he watched younger executives huddled in a side room, excitedly talking about AI, creator economies, Gen Z loyalty metrics, and Web3 transitions. Not one of them sought his input.
That moment hit like a thunderclap: “I used to be the future. Now I’m just a reminder of the past.” The applause has turned to silence.
Welcome to the unspoken war behind many polished executive smiles: Executive Anxiety and the crippling Fear of Irrelevance where yesterday’s greatness feels like today’s obsolescence.
This is not burnout. This is not just exhaustion. This is something darker. This is internal obsolescence in a world that doesn’t slow down long enough to honor legacy.
Most people think executives have it made. They see the suits, the speeches, the strategy decks. What they don’t see is the cold sweat at 3:00 a.m., the compulsive scrolling of LinkedIn to check who’s now “leading the future of innovation,” or the quiet panic when someone says, “Let’s hear from the younger folks first.” This is the private panic behind the public prestige.
Let’s call it what it is: An Identity Crisis.
In my conversations with Senior Executives across 50 organizations in Africa, I have discovered the following fears:
- Will I still be relevant in two years?
- Is this role the climax or just a chapter?
- Do I have enough left to reinvent myself again?
- Will my children respect the sacrifices I made to be “respected”?
- Am I only needed when there’s a crisis but not wanted when there’s innovation?
This silent storm brews within many leaders who were once industry champions. They are not weak. They are not lazy. But they are human battling to remain useful, heard, and visible in a system that recycles attention faster than loyalty.
Here’s the brutal truth:
The pace of change does not honor tenure. With the speed of obsolescence, you can move from trailblazer to dinosaur within a short time.
- You led digital transformation and now you are confused by the Slack channels your team lives on.
- You pioneered mobile banking and now fintech startups are solving problems you didn’t know existed.
- You built a legacy brand but Gen Z doesn’t care about legacy; they care about alignment, authenticity, and agility.
One CEO put it to me like this: “I used to walk into a room and command attention. Now I walk into a room and feel like an outsider who doesn’t speak the language.”
This is not just about tech. It is about relevance, voice, contribution and it’s happening faster than ever before.
Executive Anxiety is not in the HR manual. It doesn’t get sick leave. It doesn’t show up in KPIs. But it costs more than we can imagine. It is the emotional tax nobody talks about.
With some of my clients, I have seen the following symptoms of Executive Anxiety that hide in plain sight:
- Micro-managing junior staff — not out of control, but out of fear of being left out.
- Over-committing to outdated routines just to feel needed.
- Resisting innovation masked as “protecting the company’s values.”
- Quiet envy of younger colleagues who are bold with less baggage.
- Numbing success with material purchases or endless travel — never home, never settled.
It is not about ego. It is about purpose starvation.
You were built to drive change, shape futures, lead. But now the meetings are shorter, your voice is “not quite aligned with Gen Z culture,” and the media is obsessed with 27-year-old “tech geniuses.”
Obsolescence has a sound. It is silence after meetings. Silence after you post on LinkedIn and nobody engages. Silence when your suggestion is “not quite what we need right now.” Silence in your own home when your child asks why you work so hard and still seem invisible.
For high-performing leaders, this silence is not rest. It is rejection in disguise.
A quiet voice in your head begins to whisper: “Maybe you’ve peaked. Maybe the best of you has already happened.”
That voice is a liar. But if left unchecked, it will rewrite your entire identity.
Legacy vs. Relevance
There is a subtle war happening in your mind. One part wants to preserve your legacy. The other wants to adapt to stay relevant.
The tension is real:
- If I evolve too much, I may look desperate.
- If I don’t evolve, I may become invisible.
- If I hold on, I may block progress.
- If I let go, I may disappear.
This is not strategy. This is survival.
But here’s a hard truth: You shouldn’t have to choose between Legacy and Relevance. Why? Because relevance is not a betrayal of legacy. It is proof that your legacy can evolve. It is evidence that you were never just your role, but your impact.
What’s Causing Executive Anxiety Today?
Let’s get clinical. Here are five core triggers of executive anxiety in today’s world:
- Digital Speed vs. Human Pace
- Tech is growing faster than your emotional capacity to adapt.
- Youth-Centered Leadership Culture
- “Young = innovative” is the dominant narrative, sidelining seasoned wisdom.
- Visibility Hunger
- The addiction to being seen, praised, quoted and the withdrawal symptoms when the spotlight fades.
- Fear of Flatlining
- “What if this is the most money, influence, or respect I’ll ever have?”
- Silent Guilt
- For missing moments with family, for chasing applause instead of alignment, for not being present even when you’re physically there.
This is the invisible toll of leadership. You’ve paid for the stage with your soul and now the lights feel too bright and too cold.
Here are some real life confessions I am using by permission from 4 of my clients:
“I built a brand worth $40 million. But I can’t remember the last time I laughed with my daughter.” — Nigerian Serial Entrepreneur, Age 64
“When I speak, they nod. But they’ve already decided I’m out of touch.” — Former Bank CEO, Now Consultant
“I used to feel unstoppable. Now I feel undecided.”— Tech Leader, Age 66
“My phone used to ring every hour. Now it only rings when there’s a funeral or fundraising.” — Retired Political Strategist
These are not failures. They are signals. Signals that it’s time for a recalibration not a resignation.
Relevance Is Not a Season; It Is A Skill
You don’t outgrow greatness. You just need to refuel it differently.
7 Ways to Reclaim Relevance Without Losing Your Soul
- Reintroduce Yourself to Yourself
Update your internal CV. List your unspoken skills, not just your titles.
(You’re not “Former MD.” You’re a master of execution, of navigating chaos, of building people.) - Mentor the Future Without Disappearing Into It
Don’t just hand over the baton. Run beside the next runner. - Relearn Public Speaking for a New Era
Don’t sound like 2015 in a 2025 world. Learn the language of brevity, humanity, and storytelling. - Audit Your Digital Identity
If Google can’t see your wisdom, neither can Gen Z. Update your presence. Not to brag. But to teach. - Create, Don’t Just Comment
Stop critiquing culture. Start shaping it. Launch a podcast. Write. Curate a micro-course. Your voice matters. - Join Think Tanks, Not Just Boards
You don’t just belong in governance. You belong in ideation. - Start Over Somewhere Quietly
Learn something that humbles you. Enroll in a cohort where nobody knows you. Let curiosity replace pride.
The Quiet Power of Reinvention
Relevance doesn’t scream. It evolves silently and persistently. The executives who remain powerful into their 60s, 70s, and beyond have mastered the art of elegant reinvention.
- Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala — From finance minister to global trade powerhouse.
- Strive Masiyiwa — From telecom mogul to global thought leader in innovation.
- Dr. Joe Abah — Still making governance feel human, years after public service.
They didn’t chase clout. They cultivated substance that aged well.
Here Is My Love Letter to the Seasoned Leader
You’re not irrelevant. You’re evolving.
You’re not too late. You’re just too loaded with lessons to move lightly.
You are not a relic. You are a reservoir of wisdom, of scars, of strategy.
But you must speak again. Not to compete but to contribute.
Not to fight the noise but to bring clarity.
Not to stay young but to stay useful.
CONCLUSION
Executive anxiety is real. But it is not your destiny. You have one advantage, no algorithm, no viral influencer and no Gen Z hotshot has; you have experience seasoned by time. And when that experience is expressed with humility, curiosity, and courage, it becomes a superpower.
Don’t vanish. Don’t shrink. Don’t let yesterday define you or tomorrow intimidate you.
Stand up. Speak up. Rebuild relevance. Your greatest relevance may not be behind you. It may just be waiting on the other side of reinvention.
Your Next Chapter Deserves a Guide – Let’s Write It Together
You’ve carried industries. You’ve built empires. You’ve sat at tables where history was made. But even leaders like you deserve a space to unburden, recalibrate, and rise again.
If this article stirred something real in you (i.e. a quiet fear, a silent fatigue, a longing to matter again etc ), then don’t walk back into the noise pretending everything is fine. Come talk to someone who understands both your spotlight and your shadows.
As an Executive Coach trusted by high-performing leaders, legacy-driven entrepreneurs, and nation builders, I help seasoned executives like you do three things:
- Reclaim your voice in a world that’s evolving too fast for titles alone.
- Redefine your relevance without losing your identity or dignity.
- Rewrite your next season with clarity, boldness, and emotional mastery.
You don’t have to disappear to make room for others. You just need to evolve with intention and that’s what I help you do.
Email me directly at hello@abiolachamp.com or send a confidential message via WhatsApp +2348188881957 to begin your private Executive Relevance Session.
Your journey is not over. But your next level shouldn’t be walked alone. Let’s tame the invisible toll and turn it into unstoppable transformation.
About Dr. Abiola Salami
Dr. Abiola Salami is the Convener of Dr Abiola Salami International Leadership Bootcamp ; The Peak PerformerTM Festival Made4More Accelerator Program and The New Year Kickoff Summit. He is the Principal Performance Strategist at CHAMP – a full scale professional services firm trusted by high performing business leaders for providing Executive Coaching, Workforce Development & Advisory Services to improve performance. You can reach his team on hello@abiolachamp.com and connect with him @abiolachamp on all social media platforms.
